51/50 or 1234

Random Thoughts...

Why did my apple cost a dollar while a candy bar was only .50¢?

I love facial expressions. They make me so happy. Even if they aren’t. Everyone always wants to know what others are like on the inside, and they can if they stop to express themselves and just pay attention to the signs.

The motel near my home is renting rooms by the hour, clearly the recession is not in a recession…

How can I take anyone serious who looks like a Dr.Suess character… or people that rhyme their insults?

Why does sitting under a light make me so happy?

Why does it make me angry to see an obese girl with a tiny little purse?

I’m scared to admit that I like being scared, because if I admit to liking being scared that it may wear off its appeal and I may be scared no more orrr… I maybe have given myself a reason to be scared by admittance.

My favorite part of living is not living. It is dreaming. I love to sleep and I love to dream. I love my imagination and I grant it to run a mock all the time. I love my dreams so much I cheat on my reality. If dreams are so real and reality seems so vague, is it possible that we live in two parallel worlds?

I love meeting people and I love forcing my friendship on them. I love making people feel uncomfortable and I love unusual peculiar characters.

Arguments are so useless. They always give you the opposite results. If you are forcing something on someone else, it will only undo what you were doing. If I was forced into doing something I would make it wards-back downside up… So in terms I would make you suffer if you undid me. To make someone do something is not do it to them but do it to yourself and brag about it. The lack of it will make it want and soon others will follow and no one can resist a trend. E.I. There is not enough Jesus to go around. Sorry about your luck.

Why do girls paint on their faces beyond recognition? Might as well tattoo it on.

I love the character Edward from Edward Scissor hands. I want to live with him in his neatly maintained macabre castle.

-J

Love

I remembered a phrase about love today and it kept ringing in my ear all day. Some young gal stated that she wished there were different words for love with different levels of intensity. She stated because we love different people differently there should be a different way of verbally expressing it… (I wish there was emocon for rolling my eyes and exhaling.)

The Bible is pretty clear about love. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. “Love is patient, Love is kind, Love does not envy; is not boastful: is not conceited; does not act improperly; is not selfish; is not provoked; does not keep a record of wrongs; finds not joy in unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.”

I love the word love. I love love. I love loving and love being loved. I love seeing and hearing about love and being the helping hand in creating love. I would even say that I’m a lover and not a fighter. I believe love is a cure, remedy a tool and even maybe used as a weapon, in a good way. But I can definitely say that I have never been IN love.

It’s kind of disappointing to see or hear it being misused or abused or used incorrectly. It’s sad that some people confuse infatuation or comfort for love. It is sad to see people choose the meaning for the word instead of what was already deemed by the Bible or let alone the Wiki.

Everyone wants to be in love or be loved, and in some cases to love. But we must have the clear understanding what love is. If you had to wait for it would it be worth the most unreasonable time? Does it mean you must always be on your best behavior, regardless? Is keeping tally of things you’ve done right and the things your partner has done wrong keep the love between you stronger? Is love contingent about reciprocation? Do you love only once or can you love again? Are we made in pairs? Or do we have people we are better suited with than others?

Anyway I’m pretty conservative but I always want to know what it means to others.

Love Jewels

Mushroom picking

I am very privileged in the terms of friends and family. As a lame quote states, there is never a dull moment. This weekend went by quickly but was quite entertaining. My nationality, which is Russian, bares humor out of hardship and laughter from pain. With the addition being surrounded by other minorities and Americans, births comical circumstances and views that can only be laughed at. This Saturday my parents, who are saturated by biased views, aka “Russians are the best people in the world,” decided to go mushroom picking. This concept may sound foreign to you, but it’s my peoples favorite pass time. My family, for most part are morning people and we wake up before the birds. Whilst I and my lovely sister drag and stumble over nothing down stairs to make coffee and breakfast and set our parents off to the woods, we observe their oo… not so strange rituals.

Slowly and blindly eating my eggs with out any warning my sister looks over at me and states the following:

Sister: “When I was 12 and when no body was home, I used practice my scissor kicks around the house. I used to take a running start from the kitchen into the living room, I was pretty good.”

I: “That explains all the broken stuff around the house.”
Sister: “Chuck Norris has nothing on me.”

Than as we watch our parents put on their mushroom picking attire we watch our eccentric father dress all in camouflage, head to toe, puts a bell on our 25lb Aussies collar and puts a laundry basket under his arm. Naturally not understanding all of this we asked what’s with all the camouflage and the bell on our pooch. Dads reply was “its common sense, you’re going into the woods therefore you must blend in, the bell is if the dog gets attacked by the bear or a coyote I know which way to run after him.”

Arguably, hands down, that is an amazing argument… However the basket was still a mystery. Dads answer to that was the following, and I quote; “stupids, you can’t put mushrooms in a bag, they will squish and get soggy. If you collect them in the basket, because it has air holes, they will stay fluffy and wont squish. Everybody knows this. And if they don’t, they must be American.”

I love my family.

Love Jewels

No action due to indecisiveness is no lack, but a gain of nothing good.

Our God is perfect and He created us so perfectly. He is the God of choice and granted us every possible feeling on a continuum. It is up to us what we choose to do with them, and how we use our emotions to drive our decisions. I believe that wrong and right decisions at times aren’t defined so starkly. I almost want to declare that there is no wrong and right when it comes down to the general and average day life decisions. Of course this excluded ethically wrong decisions like murder, marital affairs, cheating stealing and other things found in the Ten Commandments. For instance we feel physical pain because our body is alarming us that there is a malfunction. We experience joy when we get what we want, and so forth. However, some feelings can me misused in an unconstructive kind of way.

I don’t understand fully why we have jealousy. What polar effect does jealousy have? Is jealousy telling us that we have failed to do, say or acquire something? If we didn’t get that piece of “cake” to begin with, maybe because we were shy or thought the “cake” is going to grow legs or balls and come hither. And someone came along that was decisive and forward enough to take it and we missed the opportunity, isn’t that kind of our fault? Why stare while it’s being consumed and feel jealous? Why not go get it back if you really want to? Does that sound ridiculous? Isn’t that unreasonable or is jealousy a warning for a lack to be filled? These questions aren’t leading questions nor am I asking because I truly have a conclusive feeling about these “cake” stealing activities. I think you get my metaphors and see me for the indecisive, timid, shy girl I am, who is inwardly super over analytical of every breath and move.

We all at times blame God, others or even circumstances. It makes us feel better knowing that we aren’t the once to charge for our misfortunes. Assuming or conveying self that someone is at fault for our short comings and staggers only numbs a broken bone. And if we aren’t honest with ourselves the same mistake will stay in qui.

Lets be grown ups and admit that in aftermath it’s not what happens to us, it’s the way we receive or perceive our fortune. Try not labeling a decision as wrong or a right but calculate and foresee what consequences will follow and understand if that is a chance you’re willing to take.

P.S. I bare myself to you so that you may not have to experience on yourself. Some mistakes are costly and embarrassing and better to be avoided. Comments are always welcome.

Love,

Jewels