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April 28, 2014

Appliances Gone Mad


A neurotic, unemployed woman who calls about the most interesting requests phoned last night to put in a work order.  Her first request was to check the heater.  Ok sounds reasonable, after all everyone should have heat, in this 69 degree weather, but whatever.  We try to get the details on the work orders to save maintenance some time.  So we asked what was wrong.  She said that it blew hot and cold air at the same time.  Not sure how a wall heater with one vent would do that.  Alright, go on.  “Yes the heater is blowing hot air and by the time it gets to my side of the apartment it blows cold air.”  One – why don’t you use the heater in the bedroom that you are in?  Two – the heater does not have an AC option so how would it produce cold air?  Keep going with your sensible request.  “The heater is giving me a headache because it’s inconsistent so I am going to go to the doctor to get blood work.”  Yes please, please do.  While you’re there have them do a x-ray scan of your head, and see the two remaining cells that are bouncing around there, quiet slowly.    It doesn’t stop here.  Other request is she wants a new dishwasher rack.  Why you ask?!  Weeeeelllll… it’s because the plastic is coming of the wire rack and it’s exposing the metal underneath which is causing poisonous chemicals to deposit on her dishes and causing her extreme stomach pains.  Yes that is the genius plan of LG appliance company to partner with new Obama Care, to find a way to send you to the hospital, to charge you obscene amount of money, and spend a ton of time to check for deceases you don’t have, to than pay for everything, since you decided your time is better well spend being unemployed collecting State benefits and creating lists of deceases you don’t have.  Ehhh.. Full circle of life.  That my friends is nAture. =)
 

Should I keep going?  Yes folks, there’s more.  She requests a very specific time of 4:45 pm on Friday and she asks that you wear a hazmat suit.  I wont rant, I’ll let your mind just explode on its own self.

- Jewels

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