The Wrong Type of Brown

The other day one of my staff had the pleasure of being called a racist.  Let me paint the picture for ya.  These folks who possess less than quarter of a “lick of” English, my favorite unit of measurement, come and apply.  Seem like a nice couple, however have no way of communicating.  Well communicating in regards to items that are not in their favor.  Very puzzled conversation shortly turned into a spelling bee competition, than shirades after my leasing agent asked for the application fees.  Imagine flailing arms, puzzled facial expressions, hours of staring at each other, great time.  After being screened and denied for property debt they found a translator! Urica! Their English speaking, very unpleasant family members called to challenge it and explain it is really not their fault they have to break a lease and they have no way of paying for it and that we can’t discriminate against poverty.  Excuse me sweet heart, your moving into low income housing, not sure how that would even work.  Alright, well pay your debt and move on.  No, the more sensible option is the most expensive and thus must be avoided. The option that was presented to them seemed like it sounded a bit differently and a such “lie to the current landlord to tell them we said we will approve them as soon as you get on a payment agreement” or it must of sounded like “call the screening company and tell them they already paid it.”  Not smart enough to figure that everything gets to be verified?  Why do you think your providing the information for?  Ok so lying doesn’t work, maybe yell and call us names and maybe you will get your money back?  Yes I think that’s the next move to get what you want.  Telling us to get common sense, and accusing us of having none because I am a woman (yes please do go further) than accusing us of being racist.  Yes I take accusations very seriously sir.  Please describe the person that was discriminating against you, was it the staff member that speaks the same language as you, the Native-Cherokee, the Mexican maintenance man, the Russian, or the one from Columbia.  Racist against what?  Racist against your money?  The wrong type of brown?!  Yes please yell at me how your family doesn’t have money to keep spending on the application fees.  Do I work for fun?  I must come here for the pleasure of being in constant fear of what adventure are next, yes that's it.  Genius.  Please procreate.

-Jewels

Appliances Gone Mad

A neurotic, unemployed woman who calls about the most interesting requests phoned last night to put in a work order.  Her first request was to check the heater.  Ok sounds reasonable, after all everyone should have heat, in this 69 degree weather, but whatever.  We try to get the details on the work orders to save maintenance some time.  So we asked what was wrong.  She said that it blew hot and cold air at the same time.  Not sure how a wall heater with one vent would do that.  Alright, go on.  “Yes the heater is blowing hot air and by the time it gets to my side of the apartment it blows cold air.”  One – why don’t you use the heater in the bedroom that you are in?  Two – the heater does not have an AC option so how would it produce cold air?  Keep going with your sensible request.  “The heater is giving me a headache because it’s inconsistent so I am going to go to the doctor to get blood work.”  Yes please, please do.  While you’re there have them do a x-ray scan of your head, and see the two remaining cells that are bouncing around there, quiet slowly.    It doesn’t stop here.  Other request is she wants a new dishwasher rack.  Why you ask?!  Weeeeelllll… it’s because the plastic is coming of the wire rack and it’s exposing the metal underneath which is causing poisonous chemicals to deposit on her dishes and causing her extreme stomach pains.  Yes that is the genius plan of LG appliance company to partner with new Obama Care, to find a way to send you to the hospital, to charge you obscene amount of money, and spend a ton of time to check for deceases you don’t have, to than pay for everything, since you decided your time is better well spend being unemployed collecting State benefits and creating lists of deceases you don’t have.  Ehhh.. Full circle of life.  That my friends is nAture. =)

 

Should I keep going?  Yes folks, there’s more.  She requests a very specific time of 4:45 pm on Friday and she asks that you wear a hazmat suit.  I wont rant, I’ll let your mind just explode on its own self.

- Jewels

Wear a helmet

It takes a special kind of person to work in the property management industry.  By special.. I mean a deranged sadomasochist who gets off on verbal and emotional abuse.  That unhelpful and underemphasized cliché of a phrase “you haven’t lived until you worked as property manager”, (yes we use that phrase) is just a drop in the ocean of what the job and the act entails on day to day.  When I come home and tell my husband and friends about the day I had, no one believes me. 

Ha! Should I be so lucky to over embellish of the unfortunate events that occur.  I used to take it personal when someone would yell at me and demand very unreasonable things.  I thought to myself, how can I overcome these symptoms of the obvious insanity that’s sweeping through the rental property nation... Join them!  Well not technically.  The overused excuse “I have a mental disability” for every non compliance... well I developed my own to fight the never ending battle.  Sort of… well if I haven’t yet, if I continue to work here I may go crazy.

I learned to laugh now, which seems like a good thing, however, it depleted by sympathy bank.  I can’t take anyone serious anymore.  I mean… I can’t.  Owe you have ants so you brought a blow torch to get rid of them?!  Yes, please, very sensible.  Owe you have an emergency leak?  Out side you say?  Near the sidewalk?  By chance is it near that sprinkler, that’s on, and creating a puddle?  Owe it is?! Great let me get someone one on that puddle.  Owe you don’t think you should pay your rent because you didn’t get a brand new apartment when you moved in?!  Are you kidding me?  I am not even sure how to respond to that.  Alkaudgohagnad.  Like that?!  Yes like that.  Since you are not making any sense, why should I?

So I think memorializing these precious moments will allow anyone who sees’s this post and is in a similar industry smile a bit, or at the very least it will give cops a heads up on what transpired before I killed myself.  Just kidding. =)

So the last few days have been comical and were the straw that tipped my sanity over to the other side.

-Jewels